Wingmen
by mosylu
Summary: No way is Cisco going to let his bro go on the biggest date of his life without some backup. One way that first Westallen date could have gone.


(A/N) I wrote this around the time of the premiere, so some stuff is way out of character given things that happened. Shhh. Enjoy the fluff.

* * *

Caitlin walked into the cortex and stopped, seeing Cisco hunched over his computer. "What's this?"

Cisco flapped his hand at her. "Shhh!" He adjusted some settings. "Nice. Coming in nicely."

Caitlin leaned over his shoulder and stared at the wobbling, bobbling video on the screen, which seemed about chest-height on a rather tall man. "What are you doing? How are you getting this?"

Cisco smirked. "Flower cam. Suh-weet, right? Some Mission Impossible shit right here, I tell you."

"Barry agreed to this?"

His gaze wandered away. "Define … agreed."

She let out a huff of breath. "You're spying on their date. Ciscooooooooo … "

He leaned back in his chair to look at her upside-down, so far she put her hand on the back so he wouldn't tip over into her and take them both out. "Look me in the eye," he said solemnly, "and tell me he's not gonna screw this up if we don't keep a lookout."

She paused, considering the past few years.

"Mmmm?"

She shoved his chair back upright and plopped herself down in the next one over. "Pass the food. What'd you order?"

"Spying on my bro's date is always Chinese," Cisco said, handing her a white carton. "Here, I got you beef and broccoli."

"Thank you, and I don't even want to know why that's a tradition," she said, plucking up a piece of steamed broccoli with the chopsticks he passed over. She peered at the screen, where Barry's hands were setting up two giant flower arrangements. "Barry," she sighed. "One. I told him pick _one_!"

"Maybe she'll think it's charming," Cisco suggested. "I mean, she's known him forever and she still wants to date him, so." He dug at a tough bit of sweet and sour chicken between his teeth.

"Let's hope," Caitlin said.

They watched as Iris came out of her building and saw the arrangements. "Oh _Barry,_ " came over the speakers.

Caitlin nodded approvingly. Cisco punched the air. "And charming is a go!"

Caitlin leaned into the screen. "Mmm! She went with the blue. Good choice. And her hair! That's adorable."

"Yeah, yeah, hair, dress, anything you want to mention about her shoes?"

Caitlin sniffed at him. "You have no idea the amount of information I'm synthesizing right now, Cisco Ramon, and if you keep being rude, I won't share."

"Wait, what? What information?"

She popped a piece of beef in her mouth and chewed.

"C'mon, share!" He dangled a bag. "I got fortune cookies."

"Well - wait, what's she doing?"

Cisco's gaze shot to the screen. "Whoa - no - no no no - "

Iris's fingers closed over the camera.

Barry's voice said, "What are you doing to my boutonniere?"

"I saw something glint in here. Did Cisco mess with it at all?"

"I don't know, maybe, why? Whoa, what's that?"

"Uhoh," Caitlin said under her breath.

Iris's face appeared very close up on the screen. "Nice try, Cisco," she said, and then the picture tumbled over and over until it steadied into a view of the sky, as if she'd tossed it into the road. The last thing they saw was the front bumper of a car, and then the picture burst into static.

Cisco made a noise like a squeaky toy run over by a semi.

Caitlin pulled out her phone and dialed. "Wally? Hey. Where are you? Uh-huh. Are you 'out and about' in the vicinity of 33rd and Lee? Cisco, _stop_ , it's not like you can't make it over again and better." She plopped the phone into a dock and suddenly Wally's voice boomed into the cortex.

"Look, I'm not saying I'm _spying_ on them or nothin', I just happen to be around here - "

"Yes, yes, of course you do. Listen, I'm here with Cisco, and you're on speaker. Tell us everything you see."

* * *

They sat mournfully around the cortex. Caitlin said, "I'm sorry I threatened slow and painful death if you came back. If it's any comfort, I probably wouldn't have succeeded."

"No big," Wally said. "And normally you're terrifying, honest. But Iris is my big sister, so that's like a major advantage in the terrifying stakes - "

She patted his hand. "No, I understand that."

"He's gonna screw this up," Cisco fretted. After only about half an hour of creative threats, he'd generously elected to forgive Iris for murdering his tech. Caitlin was right. He was already planning upgrades. "And then we'll have to go through _two more years_ of this."

"You think you had it bad," Wally said. "Fifteen years, Dad had to put up with that nonsense."

"Oh my god," Cisco said. "They'll be eighty before they get it together."

Caitlin winced, then dusted her hands off and got to her feet. "Well, as long as you're here, Wally, why don't get we get started on your weekly tests and see how your powers are progressing? You definitely seemed to get back here faster."

"Can't we try that slow painful death thing instead?" Wally said plaintively, but he followed her to the treadmill room.

A long time later, Cisco sat up straight in his chair and yelped, "Guysguysguys, perimeter alarm!"

Wally whooshed in, and Caitlin came clattering in after him, short of breath. "Is it them?"

"It ain't the Easter Bunny," Cisco said, bundling away his new and improved flower cam design, which he'd been working on in between tests. "Oh, snap, here they come! Look casual!"

When Barry and Iris walked into the cortex, it was to see three people working industriously away at the computers, which strangely enough didn't seem to have any related programs up.

"Hi!" Caitlin said brightly.

"Hi," Iris said. "Caitlin. Cisco … Wally."

He gave them a little salute.

Cisco leaned back in his chair, breaking little bits off a fortune cookie and popping them into his mouth. "Soooooooo," he said, casually. "How'd it go?"

Barry shrugged. "All right."

 _"All right - "_ he started, and saw the big grin Barry was trying to suppress.

"Our date was very nice," Iris said, "and if you'd actually respected our boundaries, you might have gotten to hear more details than that. _Cisco._ "

"Dude," Cisco said to Barry, puppy-eyed. "Dude, I had to have your back, man. You get that, right?" He thumped himself on the chest. "It came from right here."

"I get that, I do," Barry said, and Iris gave him a look that said clear as day, _don't encourage them_. He cleared his throat. "But I didn't ask you to? So that's kind of not cool."

Cisco looked downcast.

Iris said, "And Caitlin, I really expected better of you than this foolishness."

Caitlin widened her eyes. "You have no indication that I was party to any foolishness whatsoever tonight."

"Hey!" Cisco said.

Iris snorted. "Give me some credit, please. If Cisco is in on it, you're in on it."

"You're right. I'm very sorry," Caitlin said, looking demurely at her lap (Cisco snorted). "But, in my defense - Barry."

Iris considered. "I'll allow it. However, for the prosecution - _me._ "

Caitlin paused. "The defense rests. Your hair is adorable, by the way."

"Thank you!" Iris looked pleased. "I got it off your Pinterest board."

"I thought I recognized it!"

"Again with the hair," Cisco said. "What the hell?"

Both women rolled their eyes. Then they all looked at Wally.

"Hey," he said. "I was fulfilling my brotherly duty. I'm not apologizing for that."

Iris narrowed her eyes at him. "If that's a crack about my virtue or some such medieval nonsense - "

"Nope, gathering intel to mess with you guys forever. Nice dress, by the way. Where's the rest of it?"

She put her hand over his face and pushed, sending him spinning around in the chair. "Now that you're all appropriately repentant - "

"I'm not!" Wally chirped, still twirling lazily.

Iris ignored him in a queenly fashion. "Barry? Shall we?"

He spread his hands as if to say, _Might as well,_ and they strolled back out of the cortex.

Caitlin frowned after them. "Did you think it was weird they weren't holding hands or anything?"

"Maybe." Cisco fiddled with one of the mikes. "Guys, do you think we ruined it? Like, do you think they were so wrapped up in us spying on them that the date was no fun and they'll never do it again?"

Caitlin bit her lip. "You saw Barry's face," she said.

"Yeah, but he looks like that every time he's around Iris."

Wally said, "Guys? I don't think we ruined a damn thing. Check out the security cams."

They all scooted in and watched, open-mouthed, as the cam for the front door showed Barry laying a kiss on Iris that should have had its own soundtrack.

Cisco punched the air, yelling, "Wooooo! My boy!" Caitlin squealed and clapped for joy. Wally just shook his head, grinning.

When the kiss finally ended, some time after Wally had begun to muse aloud about did they even need to _breathe_ , they both looked up and waved at the security cam.

Caitlin blushed, Cisco cleared his throat, and Wally said, "Awww, cute, that was for us."

Iris pulled her phone out. Wally's rang, and he politely put it on speaker.

"Forgot to say, you can tell Dad he ain't slick," his sister said. "I saw those patrol cars slowing waaaaaaaaaaaay down all night." She ended the call, grabbed Barry's hand, and sauntered out of the building.

Cisco looked like he'd seen the face of God. _"Patrol cars."_

FINIS


End file.
